A Doll In His Hands
by fasterassembly
Summary: AU: Yosuke and the Investigation Team go through Souji's dungeon and must confront a side to their leader they'd rather not know about-and whether they know Souji as well as they they did. Souji/Yosuke with other background pairings.
1. Multiple Choice

1. Multiple Choice

_December 17, 2011._

What was the warning sign? Yosuke had come up with a whole list of them, but it had all been in his head. He hadn't meant any of it—no, he had meant it, but had taken it too lightly. Maybe there hadn't been any warning. But still—Yosuke should've seen it coming, should've understood—he knew that he shouldn't beat himself over it. It wasn't his fault. No one was at fault. Except it was his fault. Or at least, someone was to blame. Someone had done wrong, someone, some_thing_. It hadn't been a freak accident or spontaneous, sudden failure: it had been a choice, something that could have… his fault—

Yosuke cranked up the volume of his MP3 player. It was better to think that it was his fault than it was to think that it was Souji's fault. If it was his fault, he could fix it. Maybe awaken a brand new Persona or something. Something fancy and flashy. Something just as badass as Susano-O, maybe even more.

But if it was Souji's fault—then he couldn't do a damn thing about it. And now he knew—he knew that Souji wasn't going to do anything about it, either. So they'd be like this forever, forever and ever and—

* * *

><p>"No way, man," Yosuke said. "We're not going back in there."<p>

It was December 10, 2011. The day before they had captured Adachi, beat a weird disco eyeball thing, and restored peace to Inaba. Great. Peachy. Everything was normal again. No more TV World. Sure, he'd have to check the TV every time it rained at night and fog made him real antsy, but at least no one else was going to_ die_.

Except Souji wanted to go back. Souji, who was smart but bless the guy, a total bleeding heart. He thought way too much. Who cared about any of that stuff now? They were done with it, it was over, it was done, kaput, finis. They were through.

"Yosuke—"

"We just caught Adachi!" Yosuke said. "Come on, just—"

"Stop," Souji said. "Calm down."

Yosuke opened his mouth. Damn it. He hated it when Souji cut him off like that. It made him feel so—so—like he didn't matter.

"Come on, partner," Yosuke said. "I don't want to pull the grades card, but yours kind of have been tanking."

"They're fine."

"But—"

"They're fine, Yosuke," Souji said. He swept his hair back. It all fell back perfectly in place. "I understand if you don't want to help me," Souji said. "It's fine."

"I didn't mean it like that," Yosuke said.

"I know how you meant it," Souji said. "It's fine."

Now Souji was just baiting Yosuke. Yosuke shoved past Souji and went to the bike rack.

"Get real, man," Yosuke said. "It's done. I'm going home."

"Oh," said Souji. "Okay."

Why did Souji always have to be so—cool-headed? It pissed the hell out of Yosuke sometimes. Yosuke knew the importance of keeping a good face, but with Souji it was more of a… it was more like he didn't care. Or if he cared, Souji didn't care enough to react.

Souji never called him, ever. If Yosuke wanted to talk, he always had to reach out with his phone or by catching Souji in the halls or stopping by his house. Otherwise Souji didn't pay a damn to him, not unless Yosuke fought for his attention. Sure, Souji was busy, but Yosuke was busy, too: with Junes, with Inaba, with his own schoolwork. It was the same for all of them. It wasn't like Souji was some superman or some god who they ought to _beg_ for. That wasn't—damn it.

Yosuke worked the chain of his bike. His fingers kept slipping. He couldn't focus on the chain. He wanted to look over his shoulder. He wanted to say, _Come on, Souji, come over here. Help me with this. Let's talk over this. Or if you don't want to talk about it now, whatever. Call me after work and dinner. Let's—_It was dumb. He shouldn't hope for it. But he wanted to see Souji reaching out so badly. He wanted to see Souji there, he wanted to see that Souji at least cared enough to linger in front of the school gates like a dumbass for a second or two.

Stupid of him to even hope. Souji was already gone.

* * *

><p>Yosuke tossed his phone in the air, and caught just before it hit the floor. He should be doing his homework. If Chie knew that he was goofing off so bad—well, that was why they lived in different houses.<p>

Besides, even she'd be put off by the rain. It almost hurt walking around in it. More like standing underneath a gigantic faucet than a gentle shower coming down over Inaba's collective heads.

_Lift, throw, catch. Lift, throw, catch. Lift—_

"Yosuke!" Teddie cried, pounding on his door.

"No, wait!" Yosuke yelped, jumping to his feet. His phone crashed into his desk. Yosuke wasn't sure what he feared more: that he had just busted his phone or that Teddie would break his door for the third time in the last three months.

"Yosuke, Yosuke, let me in!"

"I'm getting to it!"

The pounding and rattling stopped. Thank god. Yosuke unlocked the door and opened it, only for Teddie to barrel into him and send them both smashing into the ground. They were almost close enough to—hell no, he wasn't thinking about that gay stuff when it was _Teddie_—

"Geeze, what's with you?" Yosuke said, throwing Teddie off of him. He shut the door. His parents were still asleep, but with the racket Teddie made, that might have changed. "Can't sleep?"

"It's midnight," Teddie said. "Hurry up, Yosuke!"

"Give me a break," Yosuke muttered. What was the point of doing this anymore? They took care of Adachi and that weird… Ameno-what's-its-name guy. Even if someone showed up, there weren't any more Persona users around—but who knew how long that would last.

Damn it. He hated it when Teddie was right.

He settled into his desk chair, but shifted his body so he could see the TV screen. Teddie was parked right in front of it. The TV made its familiar whine. The screen filled with static. And—

There it was, an image on the TV so clear that Yosuke bolted out of his chair and grabbed onto the TV's frame with both his hands.

No way.

No fucking way.

The picture was perfectly clear. It was a black room with black walls and a black ceiling and a black floor and hard, white light. There were stairs. At the top of the stairs was a throne, black and glossy, cut in perfect right angles—

The image jerked suddenly. Someone had grabbed the camera and spun it around so it showed his face. Souji's face. A _Shadow's_ face.

For a long while the Shadow stared at the camera. His eyelids were lowered, his mouth slightly parted, as though he was about to say something, anything. The seconds slid on torturously. The Shadow's face was so close, so close that Yosuke almost wanted to push his face against the screen of his television so they'd be touching. So close and so quiet—he ought to put his fist through the fucking screen, damn it, Souji, _say something_, don't just sit there and leave me guessing what you're thinking, don't be an ass, we're friends, love me, damn you—

"If you want to talk," said the Shadow, "then you know where to find me."

"What—what the fuck's that supposed to mean?" he screamed, but the image was already gone, and he was now that crazy guy who yelled at his TV in the middle of the night. He gave the TV a shove against his wall, and dove into his bed. Shit, shit, shit, _shit_!

"Yosuke—" Teddie said. "Was that sensei?"

"Of course it was, you—" He stopped himself. He was shouting. Yosuke took a breath. Shit, what had Souji been _thinking_? The guy was off his fucking rocker. He hurled his pillow at a wall. He heard the first strands of his ringtone on his desk. He grabbed the phone and put it to his ear. "Chie?"

"Wh—what was that?" Chie said. "Was that _Souji_? What is he doing there?"

"He—" Yosuke swallowed, hard. "He said that he thought there were still things to there. I think—shit, what are we going to do?"

"I don't know," Chie said, plaintive. "Normally we'd ask _him_."

Yeah, that was right. Except Souji was in the TV, so that left… so that left who? Yosuke didn't want to do it. He said once that he didn't mind playing second banana, but the truth was, he was too afraid of fucking up. Things in the TV were serious. They were for real. He messed up, everyone could end up dead.

"Shit, I don't know," he said. "I guess—tomorrow's a Sunday, so we should meet up in Junes. Have you reached Yukiko yet?"

"She was the first person I called," Chie said.

"Sure," Yosuke said. "Great." He was jealous of how those two were always thinking about each other. Souji—Souji wasn't even on this side, so why bother thinking? "Well, you tell her about the plans. We're going into the TV first thing in the morning."

"Got you," Chie said. "Don't do anything stupid, Yosuke. We just have to do this like the way we did it all the other times and it'll be okay."

"Yeah," Yosuke said. "I'll be fine. Thanks. I'll call the first years—damn it, Ted, I'm on the phone, don't turn on the TV!"

"We need to know the weather," Teddie said. He smacked Yosuke's arm hard and said, "Stupid Yosuke. Sometimes I think that I'm the only one who has a brain!"

"Says who?" Yosuke grumbled. "Dumb bear."

He was glad that Teddie was with him, though. After he made the calls he crawled back into bed and tried to sleep, but couldn't get his eyes to close. Teddie crawled under the covers with him and insisted on hugging Yosuke's arm for the entire night. He liked Teddie because he was completely transparent. What you saw was what you got. If he wanted something, he'd say it. If he wanted anything, he'd say it. It was annoying when Teddie wanted to do something dumb, but Yosuke was always secretly grateful. When Teddie felt bad, it made him feel good that he could do something to make someone else feel better. And when Yosuke felt bad, he could close his eyes and pretend that the person he was holding was someone bigger and taller. A person who would one day know Yosuke well enough to know when to touch him or when to hug him, because Yosuke liked hugs, and he especially liked Souji's hugs. But there had been that one time on the floodplains, and ever since Yosuke had been waiting for something, anything. A sign of the things to come.

Damn it. When Yosuke got him out of the TV, then he'd—he'd—he'd what? Hug the guy, he guessed. Something kind of gay, but not all the way gay. Hell if he was making the first move. Not when Souji didn't give a damn about him to begin with.


	2. Multiple Choice ii

_December 11, 2011._

"Please pardon the intrusion," Naoto said to no one in particular as she unlocked the door to Dojima's house. Yosuke followed her shortly. Naoto called Yosuke earlier in the morning to tell him that she had the key to Souji's house. Why her? Hell if he knew. Who knew what had been going through Souji's head. Souji never told anyone.

He should've been the one to get the key, not Naoto. Not that Naoto wasn't responsible and conscientious and… Fine, so she wouldn't have lost the key. He could see why Souji trusted her. He just didn't think that Souji should have trusted Naoto over _him_. Then again, if battle plans had been left up to Yosuke, it'd be just him and Souji, even though that was a dumb thing to do. There was strength in numbers, sure. But why was it that Yosuke only got Souji alone outside the TV once every other month when everyone else could come calling whenever?

"What are we looking for?" Yosuke said. He kicked his shoes off and stepped in. The house felt—damp, almost. As though it was holding something. No, more like it was waiting for something to hold. He felt like an intruder, even though he had been in Souji's house two, five, ten times.

"I do not know," Naoto said, audibly bristling. "He did not care to tell me before he jumped into the TV."

"Great," Yosuke said. "Maybe we'll find where he keeps the porn."

"I fail to see why that is—"

"Just trying to lighten the mood," he said. "Geeze."

Damn it. He shouldn't have gotten mad at Naoto. They were both in the dark about what to look for—and, apparently, about Souji's secret desire to launch himself into the TV to solve more mysteries. He wanted to apologize, but he didn't want to admit why he'd have to apologize to begin with; and anyway, it'd just make things weird between the two of them.

"I'll search his room," Yosuke said. "You look around in the kitchen, I guess."

Naoto gave him the stink-eye as he ascended the stairs. She was probably just bitter because she wanted to investigate the brand of Souji's socks or something.

He had only been into Souji's room—how many times had it been? Just once. He had been inside Souji's house a few more times, his the room? Just that one time after school a few months ago. It looked the same as it had looked last time: neat and inoffensive, trinkets lined on the shelves—oh, look, he got a new robot thing. The calendar on the wall still displayed November. There weren't any notes or fancy little weather symbols on the days, either. Maybe Souji kept a daily planner. Souji's desk was clean and neat, not a paper out of place. It was so damn empty that Yosuke didn't know how Souji could ever feel at home in it. Maybe some people liked the bare and empty look, but all those people had no imagination or creativity, and Souji had both. Or at least, Yosuke sure hoped he did. Some of his Personae bordered on the fucking surreal.

He invited Souji to his room once, but Souji smiled politely and said that he had other things to do. So either Yosuke was so obviously faggy that Souji could smell it off of him, or Souji didn't give a damn or was too busy. Or maybe after Yosuke got Susano-O, Souji didn't care anymore, didn't care because Yosuke had things under control by then—except not really, because he kept thinking about Souji, couldn't keep Souji out of his head, wanted more of Souji's time except Souji kept spending time with everyone but him.

The last time he and Souji hung out had been at the hospital with Nanako, and that didn't really count because it had been the two of them sitting in a room with his dying little cousin. Before that it had been a few minutes alone in Iwatodai, a fragmented conversation in the TV, a couple of sentences here and there.

The sad fact was that going into Souji's dungeon was going to be the closest Yosuke would get to him in two months. They were so far apart that sometimes Yosuke thought that he was clinging onto the label of "partners" because he knew what would happen if he let go of it: he'd be that kid again, with half his class' phone number and no one to call. Sure, he had friends, but no one understood him—no, they could. He had Chie and Kanji and Naoto and even Teddie now. He never called them or talked to them much because he always thought about Souji, Souji, Souji. So maybe it was time to move on.

* * *

><p>Naoto found bundled bills of yen beneath the kotatsu. The total amount was something like half a million yen. Totally crazy. The dude was insanely rich. Yosuke and Naoto took the money to Daidara, bought some extra armor and weapons just in case, and trucked over to the TV. Rise and Teddie were on a hard search for Souji, but had yet to find a thing.<p>

"We should brainstorm," Naoto said. "Collect clues and consolidate the information we have on Souji-san."

Ordinarily Yosuke would have protested and said that they all knew Souji well enough to not subject themselves to the humiliation of admitting that they didn't have a clue about him, but he had done too much thinking about Souji since they "finished" with the TV to put up much of a fight. There was too much that they didn't know. Naoto might be okay with that, but she had only known Souji for a few months. Not that Yosuke had known Souji for much longer—and it wasn't like those extra few months had done Yosuke much good, either.

Rise and Teddie were taking breaks, drinking soda and juice and talking quietly with Kanji and Naoto. Chie and Yukiko were going through their armors and weapons. They directed their complaints not at Naoto, who insisted on caution, but on Yosuke, who knew that they had too many Shinra Robes and 1000-Stud Coats. It wasn't _his_ fault that Naoto used her fancy logic on him. What was he supposed to say, my flimsy intuition outweighs your detective fancy pants? He might as well have said that he could speak French. Which he could. Just as long as he knew the lyrics.

"Okay, guys," he said when Rise and Teddie were ready again. "So what do we know?"

"He's our senpai," Kanji said, scratching his neck.

"He's a good listener," Yukiko said, rather earnestly. "He always knows the right thing to say."

"Yeah, okay, we all know that," Yosuke said. "But—I don't know. Doesn't he have some kind of complex?"

They all looked at one another a bit accusatorily. What do you mean, complex, they all seemed to be saying to one another. _I_ didn't have one. Nope.

"Sensei's too cool for a complex," Teddie said.

"Souji-san is rather opaque on his own psychological profile," Naoto said with a sigh. "It was always difficult to get him to talk about himself. He seemed happiest when listening to others."

"He really liked to talk," Chie said. "I mean, we'd train together all the time, but mostly he'd stand there and point things out. Not that he was bad at it, but…"

"I don't know if your kind of training is the kind that anyone can keep up with, anyway," Yosuke said.

"He really cares about Nanako-chan," Yukiko said before Chie could yell at Yosuke some more. Thank god for Yukiko. "He likes children."

"No he doesn't," Chie said. "He told me he doesn't like kids."

"But he works at that daycare and tutors that Nakajima kid," Yosuke said. "I'm going to have to side with Yukiko on this one."

"Can't see senpai hating anyone," Kanji said. "He's too cool to do that kind of shit."

"No, I'm sure he said that," Chie said. But she looked faintly troubled, as though she wasn't sure anymore. "Okay… maybe I guessed wrong on that one. He's an only child, right?"

"I think so," Rise said. "Senpai never mentioned any siblings to me."

"That doesn't mean that he is an only child," Naoto said.

"Well, we're all only children, right?" Chie said. An unnatural pause fell over the group as they all looked at one another. "… Right?"

"I have an older brother," Yukiko said. Chie's eyes nearly bugged straight out of their sockets. "He's a lot older than me, and he was never very interested in the inn," she said quickly. "A few years ago he had a falling out with my parents. I don't think he's been home since."

How did a person not think that her brother hadn't been home in years?

"I'm sorry," Yukiko said at the collective silence. "My parents don't like to talk about him."

"Hey, it's cool," Yosuke said. "We're just glad you told us."

An older brother, huh. No wonder she had that weird prince complex. And all that time, he had thought that she was kind of—well, Chie would kick him if he said it out loud. And Yukiko would hammer him in the face. Or maybe she wouldn't. Maybe girls were better at dealing with people calling them homos. And, well, those two always seemed kind of…

"I have a sister," Rise said. "She just turned four the week before. I never saw much of her because of the idol thing. I try not to mention her in interviews because my parents don't want her to go into the business."

"I never knew," Chie said. "I guess I just assumed…"

There weren't any pictures of anyone in Souji's room. Not of his parents, not of his friends, not even of them.

When Yosuke thought about it, he didn't have a single picture of Souji, either: not on his phone or camera or anything.

"W-well," Chie said, "what difference does it make if he has a brother or sister?"

"I dunno, Chie-senpai," Kanji said. "I think it'd matter."

There was another dull, hollow dip in the conversation.

"Okay, time to move onto the next topic," Yosuke said before the atmosphere could get even worse. "Anyone got anything?"

"Lunch!" Teddie said. "I always wanted to get a homemade lunch from sensei."

"Lunch, lunch, lunch," Chie said, bobbing he head each time she said the word. "Hmm… I guess that means he likes to take care of people?"

Everyone nodded. Yosuke sighed inwardly. Great. At least they got _one_ thing down. Attributes of Souji Seta, as compiled by his friends: motherly.

"If I do say so myself, he is an excellent cook," Naoto said. "If I may make a hypothesis, I believe that he likes to be the best in everything that he does. Perhaps that is why he does not like to train with Chie. Martial arts are something that he has never dared to try before."

"He can punch people just fine," Yosuke said. His jaw smarted just thinking about it. "I don't think he had a complex like that at all."

"I think that's a little out there," Rise said. "You're just jealous, aren't you, Naoto-kun?"

"Naoto ain't jealous of nobody!" Kanji said, his face going pink. "If anyone's jealous, then—"

"Oh, come on, guys, this isn't getting anywhere!" said Yosuke. "This can't be all we know."

"But what if it is?" Chie said. "I-I mean, maybe we should've talked to him about himself a little more, instead of always being so…"

Damn it, Chie, why did she have to go and say that?

"It's too late to think in those terms," Naoto said. "Perhaps now would be a prudent time to turn our attention to his Shadow. It seemed as though he was in a… dark box of some kind."

"There was a throne," Yukiko said. "I couldn't tell what he was wearing. All I could see was his face. And all he said was, 'Just trying won't be good enough to reach me.'"

'Just trying won't be good enough?' What a jerk. What a—wait.

"Hold up," Yosuke said. "That's not what he said. He said, 'If you want to talk, you know where to find me.'" He looked at the others for confirmation, but judging by the looks on their faces, none of them had heard what he had. Maybe—maybe none of them had heard the same thing at all. Yosuke's stomach slowly flipped inside him. So none of them really knew him. And Souji wasn't who they thought he was. Except instead of finding out his true self, all they seemed to do was walk straight into a labyrinth.

Their circle had broken. Now they were all standing in their old corners by themselves. Kanzeon had placed her ring around Rise again, and Teddie was sniffing around the stage. Souji had his own corner, all the way on the far corner, where he'd stare out at the fog for minutes, sometimes for more than an hour. Yosuke always wondered what he was looking at, because he knew that he couldn't see a thing out there. Maybe Souji hadn't been looking at anything. Maybe… maybe everything had been a lie.

"Hey, guys," Rise said. "I think I've found it."

Yosuke looked to Naoto, who nodded; then to Chie, who also nodded. Kanji cracked his knuckles. Then he looked to Souji's corner: empty and bare, nothing but fog rolling around in the air, going this way and that.

"Yeah," Yosuke said. "Let's do this."


	3. Multiple Choice iii

The entrance to the dungeon was stone or metal or glass. The lights flickered from bright to dim with a sick blue-green tinge all the while. The doors were already open. As for the dungeon itself, it only seemed to go up. A long, tall staircase that went up for stories and stories, and at the top, a long, black box where Souji—no, where Souji's Shadow would be waiting.

"I sense a strong presence at the top," Rise said. "And there don't seem to be any Shadows inside aside from senpai's."

"Do you know if Souji's in there?" said Yosuke.

"I don't know, senpai," Rise said sweetly. "He could have gotten up and left, just like the rest of us did."

"Why don't we enter the dungeon?" Yukiko said. "We all seem to be a little on edge right now. Maybe a bit of exercise will clear our heads."

"Yeah, a bit of 'exercise,'" Yosuke said. "That'll do us all a bit of good."

"Don't talk to Yukiko like that!" Chie said.

"Yeah, senpai," Kanji said. "Just 'cause you're all antsy doesn't mean you gotta pick on the girls."

"I'm not picking on them, you—" Yosuke stopped himself just in time. No. He couldn't say it. He couldn't say it because he was afraid someone would look at him and say, _Well, what about you, Hanamura? You and your big gay crush on Seta._ But Kanji cracked his knuckles anyway and stood up a little taller. Yeah, Kanji knew. He knew what Yosuke had almost said.

"In any case," Naoto said, "I believe we should proceed swiftly. The longer senpai is in the dungeon, the more stress will be put on his body. I advise swift and immediate action." She looked into the open doors, and nodded her head. She adjusted her glasses, checked her gun, and said, "I am going."

"Wait for me, Nao-chan!" Teddie said. "We're going to rescue sensei!"

"Hey!" Damn it. He was Souji's best friend. He was the one who needed Souji.

But was it just him? Everyone else had bonds with Souji, too. Bonds that they cherished and valued. Without Souji there as a buffer, they were all falling apart, yelling at each other and disagreeing about everything.

So who else in this group had fallen in love with Souji? Rise liked him. Kanji—was Kanji. Teddie, if he even knew what love was, might have. Chie, maybe. Yukiko, definitely. Naoto—hell no. Naoto wouldn't fall in love with anyone. But for Souji, she might make an exception.

So that was all of them, then. Each and every single one of them.

"Senpai, are you coming with us?" Rise said.

Damn it. He should have been the only one. Why did they have to go and fall in love with Souji, too? Or maybe they just liked him without loving him, the way Rise did. Because Rise couldn't be serious. She wasn't serious about any—

_'Stop it.'_

He wasn't that guy who talked shit about his friends. And besides, Souji was a good guy. It wasn't like Souji shimmied his butt around and made them all fall in love.

"I'm coming," said Yosuke. He took a step into the black stairwell. The second his second heel cleared the threshold, the door slammed shut. "What the hell!" he yelped. There were no handles or levers. He slammed his body into the door, but bounced off and fell into Kanji, who jumped half a foot in the air and landed on Naoto's foot.

"The—the door's locked behind us!" Rise said. "I don't think there's a way for us to open it now—"

"We noticed," Yosuke said, rubbing his shoulder. Definitely noticed.

Kanji gave the doors a good shake. "Rock solid," he said. "Chie-senpai, you think you can punt this open?"

"You talk about punting it open, but…" Chie rubbed her nose. "That only works on downed Shadows…"

"So we're stuck?" Teddie said.

"… It would seem so," said Naoto. "Souji-san did not leave us any Goho-Ms. And Teddie doesn't know Traesto anymore."

They couldn't leave.

Yosuke looked up the stairs, which suddenly seemed ten times longer than they had before.

Good grief, Souji. What kind of message was that guy trying to send?

* * *

><p><em> "Come on. Let's play a little game. What? You're sick of it? … You don't get to be sick of it. Play with me. Come on, why don't we all enjoy ourselves—"<em>

All dungeons were the same in one respect: they hated humans. Or at least, they hated having humans in them. Funny, because all dungeons were made from human minds, fueled by human emotions, created from their thoughts and dreams and subconscious. Dungeons rejected intruders, typically by trying to chase them out with Shadows or by barring their passage with trick doors, zigzag pathways, and floors that teleported them this way and that way. But there was another deterrent, too: the heavy, dark chains of being inside someone else's head. A psychic kind of pressure. The more secrets there were, the worse it felt. More than the fog or the fighting, it was that awful feeling that drained Yosuke's energy the fastest. Even without any Shadows, Souji's dungeon was heavy: the bad lighting, the black walls and ceiling and floor, the gloomy silence they walked in and through. It all made the physical exertion worse.

"Senpai…" Rise said, just underneath her breath. According to her, they were almost a fifth of the way, height-wise. "I don't really get what it means, but it seems like he's been in a lot of pain."

"… Yeah," Yosuke said.

He never knew. All this time, he just thought Souji's head was a big empty place. And Souji never talked much about himself, either. Maybe this was why.

Rise smiled at him, quick and gentle. "That's why we all have to work hard," she said. "To make things better again."

Thank god they were friends. Yosuke nodded, both to himself and to her. "Yeah," he said. "Thanks."

The light flickered on, and then off. This time they stayed that way. Yosuke opened his mouth, but the darkness rushed in on him, and on dumb instinct he hit the ground. Holy shit. Holy shit, it felt like he had just dodged a killing blow. He hadn't even heard it coming, but there was a big whoosh of air right over the spot where his head had been.

"Kanji?" he called out. "Chie? Rise-chan? Ted?"

Dead quiet. He reached out to where he had seen Rise, but there wasn't a thing there except a wall.

A wall. A wall…? He had been standing in the middle of the stairway—but now the ground before him was completely flat and—

Someone up ahead screamed, loud and pained, that vanished into a bloody gargle. He couldn't tell who it was, but hell if he'd let any of the girls or Teddie get hurt—and it was definitely a girl. Damn it! What was with this place? He ran one, then two, then three steps, but then stopped. Shit. He couldn't tell where he was going. He couldn't even see a thing, nothing but darkness. And now he was too afraid to go forward.

Footsteps from behind him. He spun around and screamed, "Who's there?"

No answer. Yosuke drew his knives and spun them. Had to be ready. He couldn't help whoever it was if he was knocked down. Whatever was ahead didn't feel like a Shadow—at least, it didn't feel like the kind of Shadows he fought. And it didn't feel like a human Shadow, either. But it was always hard to tell. Some Shadows could sneak up behind them so easily…

"I know you're there," Yosuke said. "I heard you coming, damn it! Show yourself!"

He couldn't freak out. He had to calm down. He had to keep a cool head. What would Souji tell him? He'd say to keep calm. Evaluate his options, keep a cool head, keep calm, don't run into action—he bet that had been Chie, because she _always_ ran into action—

"Where are you?" he shouted. "Damn it, turn on the lights, you coward!"

"What. You found what you were looking for, didn't you?"

The lights came on again. They were in a black room, just as dark as the rest of the dungeon. There was Souji—no, there was Souji's Shadow, his eyes a burning yellow and face subtly cruel. The soft curve of his smile was sharp, mocking and mean even when his face was at rest. He was wearing a black suit under a heavy, black wool coat. His heavy sword was bloodied all the way down to the hilt. There was a grey scarf around his neck. Went well with his hair, Yosuke thought, and then shook his head. Damn it. Now wasn't the time to think that.

"… Hey," Yosuke said. "Who was that earlier…?"

"Who knows," said the Shadow. "I don't think it matters now."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Come on, Yosuke. _Partner._" The Shadow smiled—so similar to Souji's smile, but nowhere near it. "You tell me what you think it means."

It doesn't matter now. It didn't matter now. It didn't—

"No way," Yosuke said. "You didn't…"

"That's right," the Shadow said ruefully. "I couldn't, in the end. Maybe she'll bleed out soon enough. I don't know. It's all up to you, partner."

"Up to… me?" Yosuke's heart skipped a beat. What did that mean? What _could_ it mean?

"I can take you to him," said the Shadow. "You came for me, after all. That should be… _rewarded_."

"Rewarded?" Damn it. He had to stop parroting this thing! "What did she do?" Yosuke said. No, that wasn't it. "What did you _tell_ her?"

"I gave her the same choice I'm giving you," said the Shadow. "She made the wrong decision."

"Wh—so you—what the fuck is wrong with you? You're not—" Yosuke charged at the Shadow, knife at the ready to slash, but the lights went off and he cut nothing but air. The Shadow's laughter, low and menacing, echoed throughout the chamber. No way. This wasn't Souji, this wasn't Souji, this wasn't—

"I guess you didn't love me as much as you thought you did!" the Shadow said. "After all that time, you pick her over _me_, huh? How do you think that makes _him_ feel?"

"Shut up!" Yosuke said. "You're not him! You're not him! You're not—"

The darkness pressed in again, reaching into his lungs and yanking out his breath. By the time he recovered the lights were back on and he was on the endless staircase again. His ribs felt as though they were trying to fold in on themselves. He took a steadying breath and groped the wall for a railing. There wasn't a railing, but it was worth trying, at least. He pulled himself up to his feet and looked around. Below were the others, some further down than others. Kanji was the first one back on his feet. Yosuke leapt down the stairs, helping Teddie back onto his feet.

"You okay, Ted?" he said.

"Waaah…"

"Yeah, I thought so," Yosuke said.

"What the hell was that?" Kanji said.

"I don't know!" Yosuke said. "I was put in—this dark room and I heard someone scream…"

Naoto was brushing herself off now. Chie looked all right, too. So that left Yukiko and Rise, crouched almost a full flight below where the outage had taken place. Chie was at Yukiko's side immediately. Yosuke couldn't hear the words, but Chie made a lot of noise, and then swore—he didn't need to hear what she was saying. That kind of anger didn't need translation.

"What?" Yosuke said, pushing his way past Kanji. "Who is it?"

Yukiko looked up. She looked shaken up, but okay. The sleeves of her sweater were a bit singed. Coating the stairs was a long stream of dark red. Rise looked up at Yosuke with a little smile.

"I'm okay," she said. "Yukiko-senpai patched me up quickly. Just need a moment to catch my breath, that's all."

Yosuke couldn't say anything. He knew that Kanji and Naoto were making a fuss, but he couldn't think. He couldn't think. All he could see was the slash in Rise's uniform, the red color—it was like someone tore out his headphones halfway through a song. Souji wouldn't do that. His Souji wouldn't do that.

"It's no worse than what everyone else's Shadows did to you," Rise said.

"What did he say to you?" Yosuke said.

Rise for a moment looked surprised. Then she smiled painfully again and said, "He said that if I loved him than I'd follow him. But I knew it'd be stupid if I did, so I said no. And then…"

Naoto shushed Rise with a hand on her shoulder. "We must proceed carefully," she said. "It seems as though the blackout separated us."

"Did you see him?" said Chie.

"No," Naoto said. "I presume that Rise-san was the only one he visited."

"He saw me," Yosuke said. "He said—he said that I had found what I was looking for, so I should—" He broke off. "Damn it…" If he had moved faster or acted faster, then… If only they had known—but all his thoughts broke off, snapped off by the rage in him. No, not rage. Panic.

Because this Shadow was smart. Because this Shadow knew where they were weakest. Because this Shadow was Souji's.

Yosuke looked down at the blood on the stairs, and felt sick. No way. That couldn't be Souji. Souji didn't do this kind of thing to his friends. Souji would have the self-control to not have a Shadow. Souji—

"We have to keep going, don't we?" Yukiko said. She clutched her fan to her chest.

"Yeah," Kanji said. Naoto was helping Rise get onto his back. "Can't do shit unless we get to the portal at the top."

Her jaw clenched tight. He expected her to say something encouraging, but instead she snapped her fan open. Her eyes glinted with a hard light, unafraid—or too angry to be afraid. "Good. Let's keep going, everyone."

As they went up, Yosuke heard the sound of a boy crying. He looked around but saw no one. His skin crawled. Just his imagination. Just his imagination. Just his…

_ "What? You're upset? No good. Bad boy. We'll find something to replace you. Someone won't salt the eggs—"_

_ "No… no… stop it…" _

_ "Ha… haha…"_

Maybe it was just his imagination, but the walls seemed to be closing in on them the higher they went.


	4. Multiple Choice iv

_ "Sou-chan… Hey, Sou-chan, when did you get so quiet? … Good. No one likes you anymore, anyway."_

"Kanji-kun, you can put me down," Rise said. "I feel good enough to walk again—"

"Hell no," Kanji said. "You ain't getting down until we're at the top."

"Kanji-kun, you idiot!" Rise slapped his shoulder.

"The hell? I'm trying to _help_ you, damn it!" Kanji yelped.

They were trying to piece together what had happened when the lights went out, but the voices kept—

_ "I can make them like you again. But that won't make it better. Come on, put on a show for me. Come on, come on, let's play a game together—"_

—butting in. What the hell did it even mean? None of it made sense, none of it. And Souji had never mentioned a thing about it. It wasn't anyone from Inaba—at least, Yosuke hoped it wasn't anyone from Inaba. He didn't know. Souji never talked about it. And if only Souji had talked about it, then they wouldn't—or would they—

_ "I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to talk to you. Go away, go away, go away—"_

From the sound of it, when the lights went off they were all taken away to their own separate little rooms. Kanji, Teddie, Yukiko, Naoto, and Chie had just heard the sound of footsteps walking past them, maybe a long, low laugh and a few whispered words. None of them were willing to repeat what the Shadow had said. Yosuke understood. The Shadow knew exactly what to say to keep them off-balance. Souji always knew exactly what to say.

Rise said that she could sense certain points where things were weird, just like they got weird when they were a fifth of the way up. They were almost at the next point, Rise said. Yosuke could tell. The voices were getting louder and louder, pushing down on them. But it was so hard to tell which one was Souji. They both sounded so much like him, one of them young and the other—

_ "We'll need a way to tell each other apart, you and I. You can be Sou-chan. I'll be… myself, of course. Haha…" _

Sou-chan. Yosuke felt like throwing up a little at that.

The lights flickered, went off, and then came back on. They all let out a deep breath when they were still in the same place.

Then everything went dark again. Yosuke reached for his knives, but the Shadow didn't even give him that chance. The Shadow was on top of him, pinning his arms down and—fuck, no, it was trying to bite him—Yosuke kicked the Shadow off of him, and the Shadow rolled away, laughing all the while. The lights came back on, and there they were again in that big, fucking black room, the Shadow just to the side.

"Where are the others?" Yosuke said.

"It doesn't matter," said the Shadow. "I don't care about them. This is about ius/I. We didn't finish our conversation from last time."

"Fuck you!" Yosuke shouted. He dove at the Shadow, but the Shadow stepped to the side, and gave Yosuke a kick to the back. Yosuke couldn't even stand up anymore, never mind fight. It was like having someone throw a meteor into his spine. Everywhere around the place where he got kicked felt like it was breaking apart. Shit, he was going to die. The Shadow was going to take his big sword and skewer him. Shit, this wasn't the way he wanted to go, no, no—

"I care about _you_," the Shadow said, rolling Yosuke over. His sword was sheathed and eyes deathly serious. That was a good sign, right? Right—

"You don't," Yosuke choked out. "You don't. You don't mean it."

"I do," the Shadow said. "I like you."

"You say that to everyone," Yosuke said. "You don't give a shit about me! You—you don't care about… If you cared about me, you would have—you…!"

The Shadow smiled. It was so convincing. It was so much like Souji that Yosuke wanted to wrap his arms around the Shadow's neck, kiss the hell out of him. But it wasn't Souji, it wasn't. It couldn't be.

"Stop it," Yosuke said. "Please… stop it…"

The Shadow smiled again, razor sharp. "That's the kind of thing I like to hear," the Shadow said. "You know what I like?"

Damn it, that thing just _didn't shut up._

"I like games," the Shadow said. "I like making people do things. I like making them pick between A and B." He got off of Yosuke. "Stand up, partner," the Shadow said, just gently enough for it to be like Souji. Yosuke tried to move, but he couldn't. It hurt too much—and that fucking Shadow had his foot on Yosuke's back, anyway. The Shadow grunted rather impatiently, and drew his sword. "I said stand up. If you don't stand up, then you'll never get answers."

"I don't need answers from you," Yosuke said, his voice thick and choked. "I'll get them from Souji."

"He won't tell you anything," said the Shadow. The Shadow bent down, and grabbed Yosuke by hair. "And you wouldn't like him anymore if he did. Someone as disgusting as him… How much do you know about him, anyway? What's his favorite color? His favorite food? Do you even know what city he lived in before he came here?"

The air smelled funny. It smelled like—ozone. Lightning. Shit. Shit, shit, shit, he was going to die. He was going to die.

"You know," said the Shadow quietly, "this is your punishment for choosing to go after _her_ and not _us_."

And then he plunged the sword straight into Yosuke.

* * *

><p>When he came to, Teddie was bent over him. Everyone was staring over him. He tried to smile. It felt like someone had hit him with a truck.<p>

"Hi," he said.

"You idiot!" Chie's leg pulled back, almost as though she was getting ready to kick him in the head; then, thankfully for them both, she bent down and helped him up. "Are you all right?" she said. When he mumbled something about being fine, she said, "Great."

Yosuke tried to smile. Then he said, "Well? Who did he see this time?"

"It was me," Naoto said. Her lips were white and skin strangely pasty. "It was just as you said. He presented me with the choice of rescuing a critically injured teammate and having the opportunity to see Souji-san directly. I couldn't… I couldn't make that decision."

So he hadn't been anything special at all. The Shadow made everyone do it. Yosuke had just been the dumb, helpless girl this time. And he bet that Shadow said the same thing as he had said to Yosuke. Oh, Naoto-kun, it's all up to you, you're the only one who can do this, I'll reward you by sticking my dick up your twat—

"He'll be after Naoto-kun next," Chie said. "That bastard…"

"It isn't really Souji-senpai," Rise said. "It's his Shadow. All Shadows do this to people."

"It _is_ Souji-kun," Yukiko said. "Or at least… it's a part of us. It's his Shadow."

Yosuke grunted. Standing up was hard work. His stomach throbbed painfully. He could barely feel his feet on the ground, never mind anything below his waist. Chie adjusted her grip on Yosuke's arm and said, "There has to be a way to stop this from happening. I can understand the Shadow getting Rise-chan, but you, too?"

"Fuck you," Yosuke grunted.

"I'm just saying—"

"He was too strong," Yosuke said. "He was—he just—I couldn't…" He blinked fast before he could get all weepy. "Damn it."

"It's senpai," Kanji said. "I dunno… Kinda hard to decide."

"I'd beat him up," Chie said. "I'd beat him up and then beat him up again and once he's dead, bring him back to life so I could kill him again for doing this to us."

"Y-yeah!" Kanji said. "You say it, senpai!"

Hey, wait a minute. "Weren't you just saying a second ago that—" Chie stepped on Yosuke's foot. "Ow!"

"We should continue," Naoto said. She still looked a little shaky. "As we go up, we should think of—"

_"God, Sou-chan, it's amazing when you do that. Come on, Sou-chan, come here. Come here, come here… Yeah, that's right…"_

_ "Don't hate me, don't hate me… Please, don't hate me… Souji, please… please—"_

Holy shit. What had _that_ been? For a moment Yosuke had thought it had been—it had been him, but it wasn't him, it was someone else. Yosuke automatically looked to the others. Either they were all just as good actors as he was, or they were just as clueless as he was.

Good. Because he didn't want to imagine any of them saying that to Souji—

"… A plan," Naoto finished. But she looked even more rattled than before.

The boy was crying again. And now he didn't seem nearly as young as he had before.


	5. Multiple Choice v

Their brilliant plan to counteract the Shadow was for Naoto and Yukiko to light up like a pair of Christmas trees whenever the darkness took over. Maybe that'd be enough to force the teleportation mechanism to not activate or something. It was worth a try. Yosuke didn't have any high hopes, but it was worth _trying_, because they didn't have a single plan otherwise. God, this was pathetic. There weren't any Shadows in the dungeon except for Souji's, but they were all in such shitty shape. This sucked.

Damn it, Yosuke didn't even remember why he was here. He wished that he could go back home and curl up in his bed and make the last few days a dream, but Chie would probably kick him if he tried any of that stuff. And now he _had_ to know what the real Souji was like. He had been glad for a chance to glimpse at the "real" Souji—but now that he was getting closer to it, he didn't want to know. Every few minutes the sobs and laughter would give way to sounds straight out of a porno. It made Yosuke sick, picturing Souji—but that didn't mean that it was actually like… but it _seemed_ like it, wasn't that proof enough? He wanted to say something, but no one else was, and hell if he'd bring that up. He was a senpai here. He couldn't make the others worry.

God, Souji, what the fuck had _happened_?

"We're nearly at the next point," Rise said. "There's only a little bit more after this, guys. We're almost there."

"I'll go on ahead," Yukiko said, taking her fan out. She waved her fan in the air once, twice, and then on the third, a raging fire consumed her entire arm. It was so hot that even Yosuke couldn't stand the heat, and he was normally okay with fire.

He looked over to Naoto, who kept fingering her holster.

"It's okay if you're afraid," he said. "I mean, it's pretty scary and…"

"Thank you, senpai," Naoto said flatly. "I believe I am perfectly capable of handling him by myself without your dubiously qualified assistance."

"Yeah, that's real convincing," he said. "Even I couldn't take him on, what makes you think that…"

The lights went off. Naoto activated a Hamaon spell, and for a second they were all illuminated by the faint glow of runes from behind, and a stark, hot fire up ahead. On again. Off, then on—

"It seems to be—"_working_, was what he was about to say, except Chie smacked him before he could finish.

"Don't jinx us, senpai!" Rise hissed.

Off—

And when the lights came back on, Yukiko, Teddie, Rise and Kanji had all disappeared. Chie nearly dropped Yosuke to run up the stairs, but now it was Yosuke's turn to hit her.

"Don't be stupid!" he said. "That's exactly what the Shadow wants!"

"But—Yukiko…" Chie shook a little. "He took Yukiko! I thought he was supposed to just take Naoto-kun and… I thought we'd be… Where is he? I'm going to—"

"I don't know," Naoto said. "No one here has Rise-san or Teddie's talent for finding people." Which was an understatement. They all had combat-oriented Personae. Hell, between the three of them, their strongest healing spell was the almighty, incredibly powerful Diarama. Normally Souji had Teddie or Yukiko fix them with Diarahan or Salvation—except they were both gone now.

"He's doing this to play with us," said Yosuke. "That sicko…"

"Indeed," Naoto said. She looked at the stairs with an anxious frown. "A or B… It seems as though he could have taken us away whenever he wanted to."

So Souji's Shadow had said that kind of thing to Naoto, too. Yosuke felt his stomach tighten. He shouldn't be jealous about that. No one should have to deal with that guy's crazy psycho Shadow. But still—yeah, all that bullshit. Oh, Yosuke, you're special to me. What was so special about _him_? What was so special about him compared to Naoto? Yosuke, he—

"Hahaha… That's right, Naoto-kun. A or B."

The lights flickered. Naoto extinguished her spell. This time when the lights went on, they stayed on. The Shadow appeared just in front of Yosuke, and shoved him to the ground. Yosuke fell onto a flat floor—good, because falling on the stairs meant that he'd break his damn skull in two. They were in a room with two doors. The Shadow stood in between the doors, holding a red headband in his right hand. He tossed it over to Chie, and it clattered at her feet.

"Yukiko…?" she said, staring at the headband dumbly. "What—what did you do to her?"

"Nothing I wouldn't have done to you," said the Shadow. Yosuke felt a part of him shriveling. That guy was _leering_ at Chie. "She didn't want to play my game. So I decided to make a new one for her."

"What kind of games?" Yosuke asked.

The Shadow smiled and shrugged. He made eye contact with Yosuke and said, "The kind of games that boys don't play with each other."

"How dare you!" Chie charged at the Shadow, brushing off Yosuke's grab and Naoto's grip as easily as string. Wait, you moron, Yosuke wanted to yell out, but he _wanted_ Chie to punt this asshole into neverland, and, well, the Shadow sure showed him last time who was on top—

Chie barely even made it to the Shadow when the Shadow back handed Chie so hard that her body floated in a little arc before slamming into the ground. Naoto half-heartedly aimed her gun at the Shadow. The Shadow looked at the gun, at Naoto, and then at Yosuke. Yosuke felt his chest tighten. He wanted the Shadow to say something to him, anything—damn it, he was Souji's best friend, or at least Souji pretended—anything the Shadow would say would be painful but damn it, Souji, _look_ at him—

"Come on, you two," the Shadow said. "I already know that you'll pick them over me every time, so let's see how _they_ feel when you pick some bitch over them. It doesn't feel nice, does it? It'll probably hurt—"

"We wouldn't have to pick if you weren't making us!" Yosuke said.

"Choices only matter if they're hard ones," said the Shadow. "And you guys don't know how to make hard choices because I always make them _for_ you. So come on. Someone's going to die if you don't decide soon. Hahaha…"

The lights went off, and when they came back on, the Shadow was gone again. Yosuke didn't need to ask Chie which choice she would make: she'd pick Yukiko, no matter what. When he helped her up, she said, "We have to—"

"No. He picked Yukiko just to get to you, and you know it," Yosuke said.

"But…"

"Perhaps we should be rational," Naoto said. "Let us think this through."

"There's nothing to be rational about! Yukiko's—"

"Rise-san, Kanji-kun, and Teddie are in the other door," Naoto said. "Or did you forget about them?"

Ouch. Harsh, but effective. Naoto sure could be mean when she wanted to be. Chie deflated like someone stabbed her with a pin. "Well…"

"Honestly, senpai," Naoto said. "I wonder about you sometimes. It could be that the Shadow is trying to trick us."

"He's telling the truth," Yosuke said. "He's an asshole, but Shadows are always honest about shit like this."

"Ah," Naoto said. She stared at the doors blankly, as though she was too tired to even think. He didn't blame her. They were so close to the top. And they were all so fucking tired.

It wasn't an easy choice to make. He liked Yukiko well enough, but he was responsible for Teddie, and three people against one… But how was he supposed to quantify how much he liked one person compared to a bunch of others? If it was just numbers, fine, but he couldn't just decide, "Screw you, Teddie, go die while I save Yukiko." He wanted to go through the other door, but he couldn't do it. What if Yukiko was the one dying over there—and how _would_ she feel if they picked wrong?

So was that was Souji was feeling? Damn it. Was it always like that? Did Souji make those kinds of decisions every day before and after school on who to spend time with? Was everyone always hurting where someone couldn't see it? Well, of course they were, that was why there were _Shadows_. So did that mean that Souji had to decide between people who were okay and people who were spilling their guts everywhere without ever knowing it?

Thinking about it like that made Yosuke feel a little better. But the last few months had felt so bad that they left a sour aftertaste in his mouth.

"Help! Someone, please, help!"

"Rise-chan?" Chie said, her eyes focusing on the other door. She jumped up to her feet and tore straight for it. "I'm coming!"

"Hey!" Yosuke said. "What about—"

"Why do you always have to make things so difficult?" Chie said, and yanked the door open.

Naoto chased after her. Yosuke, first, checked Yukiko's door. It was latched tight. So then—damn it, he could only go through that one door that everyone else had gone through.

_ "Hahaha… you're crying again? I liked you so much better when you were quiet…"_

"Shut up, you fucking creep!" he yelled at the walls. But the Shadow kept laughing and Chie and Naoto had vanished behind another door ahead. There was a commotion up ahead, and then silence. Yosuke caught his breath, in ragged and sharp mouthfuls of air, and went forward again. He opened the door. Everyone was there in a small room. Rise and Naoto were awkwardly patting Kanji on the back. Kanji's throat was an angry, raw red, so red that it might bruise later.

He stared. God, this was straight out of one of those shitty public awareness movies about domestic violence or smoking or something. "What happened?" Yosuke said

"The Shadow was choking Kanji-kun," said Rise. "We were all put in different rooms, and when the light came back on…"

Kanji grimaced again, and rubbed the back of his neck. "Fucking coward didn't even say anything to me," he said. "Jumped me like a pansy."

Teddie was off to the side. Even though the costume he wore never changed expression, the guy was seriously glum. He hadn't said much of anything for nearly an hour. Yosuke opened his mouth to say something to Teddie, and then decided to not say anything. Now wasn't the time to force Teddie into a spotlight.

"Where's Yukiko?" Chie said. Oh, so once she knew no one was dead, she was going to ditch them and look for Yukiko, huh. If it had been a choice of Souji and Yukiko, Chie would have gone for Yukiko again for sure. It was both nice and a little restricting. Nice because it _had_ to be nice, to love someone (and it was love, who were they trying to kid, themselves?) so much that every decision was already made without having to think about it. And restricting because Chie would need someone to point out what Souji had to be feeling when he made his plans every day.

"The other room, I'd imagine," Naoto said.

"Well, we have to go back!" Chie said.

"She's probably okay," Yosuke said. "Anyway, we should—"

"How do you know?" Chie said. "How do you think she'd feel if I…" Her voice broke a little. "Even if she's strong now, I have to at least…" She wet her lips. She looked down at the ground. Then she looked at Yosuke in the eye and said, "You understand… you get what I mean, kind of?"

No, he didn't. Because he knew that he wasn't the first person on Souji's mind. Because what _he_ felt Souji was one-way. No matter how much Yosuke thought about Souji or wanted Souji, he knew that Souji wouldn't be sitting there thinking, _Oh, where's Yosuke?_ Maybe a part of Souji was thinking that—but from the sound of it, Souji thought that about _everyone_. And sure, Yukiko probably wasn't sitting in a chair thinking, _Oh, whence shall my prince cometh?_ or something lame like that—but god, Yosuke would bet his left arm that Yukiko was thinking, "Gee, I hope Chie hasn't done anything dangerous again" or something like that.

It wasn't fair. Why did Yukiko have to like Chie of all people? He didn't see—well, he kind of saw—fine, he did understand why Chie. He wasn't jealous or anything, he just didn't see why not _him_—or even why Souji would—and what if Souji _did_ feel…

The lights went off, and when they came back on they were on the stairs. There were scattered bits of ice all around them, all up and down the stairs. Yosuke looked down at his feet—hey, that doesn't really look right, what happened here—and then up at Yukiko, crumpled face-down on the stairs, still half-encased in ice.

_ "—I'm tired of games. Let's do this for real now. Haha…"_

_ "Stop it… stop it… stop it…"_

_ "Something real, something real—"_

The voice screamed, and the lights went on and off and on and off—and when it stopped the lights steadied again. They were still there standing on the stairs with the ice all around them and Yukiko above them, frozen like a dreamer ready to jump down into—into what, exactly?

_"You want real? I'll give you real, you—!"_

There was air rushing in Yosuke's ears, a loud whistle or a howl, the sound of someone's voice in the wind—_ "C-come on… that was good for you, too, right?"_—and then it ended with a sick, horrible smash into the ground. A sack of meat. Or something else, something Yosuke didn't want to think about.

"Yukiko," Chie said. "We have to…"

"Right," Yosuke said. "Yeah, we have to check up on her."

"I think she's okay," Rise said helpfully. "She's been knocked out, but she's still alive."

No one said anything after that. They were used to the laughter and crying from the dungeon filling up the empty spaces, but now there was just that quiet. He knew that he should be more worried for Yukiko, but everything felt so far away and they had been through so much already. He couldn't stand it. Any more of this and he'd kill himself.


	6. Multiple Choice vi

"We're really here… right?" Rise said.

"What, does your radar dish say something else?" Yosuke said.

"You're so mean, senpai," Rise said. "All I meant was that it feels like we've been walking for a really long time."

It had been hours since they entered the TV, maybe longer than that. Yosuke didn't know. His watch went haywire in the TV, and his phone didn't have the right time displayed, so it was impossible to tell how long it had been, and he knew it was the same for everyone else, too. But they were at the top of the stairs. Just between the door and the final step at the top was a gap in the stairs, maybe two feet wide. No trouble to jump over, but looking down made his stomach jerk up into his mouth. Naoto, in turn, was staring down at the gap, apparently unruffled by the distance between where they were now and the ground below.

Yukiko had Chie's jacket wrapped around her shoulders, and was sitting with Kanji. Kanji had forced his jacket on her, too, but the end effect was that she wound up looking like giant poisonous mushroom growing on the stairs.

As though sensing his thoughts, Yukiko said to Yosuke, "Are you all right, Yosuke-kun?"

"I've been worse, I guess," he said. "Have you thawed yet?"

"Yes," Yukiko said. She bundled herself a little tighter with Chie's jacket. "All that's left is the final hurdle."

"Yeah," Kanji said. "Just gotta beat up the Shadow and get it done and over with." His neck had bruised a little. They'd have to get Teddie or Yukiko to heal it later—except both of them were incapacitated. Just in different ways.

"Let me take care of that," he said to Kanji. Well, he had to play the part of a good senpai every now and then. Couldn't let Souji get all the credit.

"Huh?" said Kanji, rubbernecking at Yosuke. "You hit your head or something?"

"He's right, Kanji-kun," Yukiko said. "If you walk out of Junes with that around your neck, people will talk."

"Screw 'em," Kanji said. "'sides… I want to show this to senpai."

"Kiss and make up, huh," Yosuke said. He winked, but it didn't really turn out that well. Normally Yukiko would smile or giggle at his winks, but now she seemed a little short-tempered. Come to think of it, he hadn't asked her what had happened between her and the Shadow while he and the others were in the room.

Best not to ask. It probably hadn't been anything pretty, anyway.

"No," Kanji said. "So I can whoop his ass for being a fucking moron."

"It's not his fault," said Yosuke, but they all had said that so many times that the formalities were just a way of shutting conversation down. Anyway, it looked like Yukiko and Kanji still had some things to talk about. He wasn't sure why, but Kanji and Yukiko were pretty friendly with each other. Kanji would make nice boyfriend material, and the two of them looked pretty nice with each other. Not that he bothered thinking about stuff like that too often.

He left her and Kanji alone again and looked around. He was nervous, so he was going to everyone and trying to eke out a bit of conversation out of them. It wasn't like he was much use or like anyone _wanted_ to talk to him. But without Souji to grab their brains and direct their minds to their goal, they were all standing around listlessly, trying to work up the energy to psyche themselves up for the upcoming battle. And there _would_ be a battle. It was like a ritual now: Oh, nice Shadow. You don't have issues? Great, let's hear them. Okay, everyone, get ready, we're going to have to intervene in five, four, three, two…

"… lava level," Naoto muttered. "Taking into account of the American players who will be attempting to complete the challenge…" She trailed off when she spotted Yosuke staring. She shifted her weight from her left foot to her right. Then she said rather plainly, "Hello, Yosuke-senpai."

"Planning something?" Yosuke said.

"I am merely making plans for the future." Optimistic of her. That was assuming that they'd _have_ a future. Naoto yawned behind her hand, and said, "Yukiko-senpai has nearly recovered. We should head out soon."

Chie, Rise, and Teddie were having a pretty tense conversation a little while down. It looked like the girls were trying to cheer Teddie up. Well, the fastest way was to let Ted be a perv for a while, but he wasn't going to tell _that_ to the girls.

"Hey," Yosuke said. "Why do you think the…" He gestured at the walls. "Have stopped?"

"I do not know," Naoto said. "But it certainly seems as though there's been a narrative of sorts, hasn't there? From senpai's youth to a more… recent time, from before we knew him. One does wonder what happened. When I was looking up information on Souji-san over the summer, I noticed that he was sent to some sort of clinic for a time, about this time last year."

"Yeah?" Yosuke said. "In what city?"

"The clinic itself is in Minato City, but Souji-san was referred there from somewhere else," Naoto said. "Presumably his hometown. I didn't mention it because I assumed he had been referred there for a physical injury. But perhaps…" She looked at the walls, and then at the doors ahead. Yosuke did, too. He didn't know if he wanted to hit Naoto for hiding the information or for knowing it in the first place. But he didn't want to be one of those slime balls who went around hitting girls, so he stood there, staring at the doors as though they'd open by sheer force of will.

The conversations had all stopped, and they were all standing by the door, so now seemed as good of a time as any to go through it. Everyone was looking at him, too, like they were waiting for him to say something. Or maybe like they pitied him—but they couldn't have, because they didn't know what Souji meant to him, they didn't know that he wanted… Goddamn it, he couldn't keep any of it straight, the lies and the truth, what he saw and what other people were seeing, what he felt and what he thought he should be feeling. It was all jumbled and messed up.

What _was_ the truth behind all this, exactly? And what would happen after this? Some parts of Souji's Shadow were so straightforward; and other parts were completely weird.

Like, with all those games, for example.

It was one thing to make choices, but why did it have to be like some sadistic twist on a morning quiz show? And why no other Shadows as… contestants, so to speak? That had to be easier than hacking them all to death with his sword. But maybe if all Shadows were as smart as Souji's, they all would've been dead before making it halfway up Yukiko's dungeon.

And why a suit and tie? For a Shadow, it sure was… respectable, especially compared to Kanji and Rise's bare-it-all approach to things. But the suit and scarf and coat didn't go with the game theme. And the game theme didn't go with the dungeon, with its stark black walls and the two—there _were_ two speakers, right—speakers. The one who laughed and the one who cried.

Maybe Souji's Shadow was too cool to play by the normal rules. Or maybe the way it all came together was so sick that Yosuke wouldn't even be able to twist his brain around like that. He got all messed up when he thought about things he read or heard about on the Internet or from his parents. Not stuff in history, but stuff like, "Toshi Yamada-san (age twenty-four) stabbed ten elementary schoolers to death and then killed himself." What kind of creep would think about killing little kids? It was so far out of the realm of "normal" that it didn't even pop up on the list of things Yosuke would consider abominable crimes on humanity on the first run through. _Today's agenda: burn down a city, murder everyone I see, drown kittens and puppies in a bucket, rape someone's mom…_ And oh, yeah, stab a bunch of third graders. Can't forget about that.

Maybe they were all thinking of stuff like that, about the Toshi Yamada-sans in the world who did fucked up things that they couldn't even wrap their heads around. The Toshi Yamada-san who did this to their leader. To _his_—

"Uh," he said, to warm himself up for the upcoming motivational speech he hadn't prepared, but it was too late.

"You've ruined the moment," Chie said with a sigh. Yukiko still had her jacket. It was weird seeing Chie without it—but it wasn't _bad_, either. She rolled up her sleeve to the elbow and said, "All right, everyone! This is our last chance. Let's go!"

With a brave nod, she jumped across the gap and opened the door.

* * *

><p>The final room was completely dark, which made their reckless charge into the dungeon more stupid than brave. They all stopped moving, but at different times and for different reasons: Chie and Kanji because they realized it was too dark to go on, Naoto because she slipped trying to avoid running into Kanji, Rise because she tripped over Naoto, Teddie because he didn't <em>need<em> a reason to fall, Yosuke because Teddie slammed right into him, and Yukiko because Rise grabbed onto Yukiko's ankle for support.

"What the hell?" Yosuke squawked, moments before someone poked him in the eye. "Ow!"

He tried to curl up, but Yukiko hissed, "Your elbow's in my hair!" Naoto was trying to summon her Persona—he could tell because she told Kanji so as much, and she'd appreciate it if Kanji would please remove his knee from her solar plexus—to light up the room, but then there was more movement and someone's shoe squashed his face.

"Hahaha…"

The Shadow was applauding them, from wherever he was. Great. Fuck it. They all sucked.

"I should have known that you would have tried making a heroic charge," said the Shadow. "The lot of you always have more fun when I'm not around." The lights came back on. Yosuke instinctively looked around for the enemy, and found him sitting on a smaller chair next to the throne. And on the throne itself was Souji, blindfolded and gagged.

"Sensei!" Teddie rolled up onto his feet. "What did you do to sensei?"

"Not much," said the Shadow. "Tied his hands and feet together. Made bets. Did some things to him…" The Shadow ran his hand along Souji's leg, creeping up to the thigh, and Souji's leg jerked up. He smiled at Yosuke—or maybe at everyone. "Well," he said, "you always have to be careful with guys like these. They might try to talk their way out of the blame. If I let him say anything, he'll have me back inside that head of his before the hour's up. And I can't have _that_ happening, can I? Not when there's a _job_ to do. A last game for us all to play."

With a wild laugh, he tore the blindfold and gag off of Souji, and threw him off the throne. Souji hit the ground and actually _bounced_, but he bore it stoically, with a muffled grunt and barely a cry at all.

"He's okay," Rise reported. She was already back on her feet and was going around helping the others. Yosuke didn't wait for her: he took off for Souji, grabbing him maybe a little too roughly by the shoulders.

Souji didn't _look_ too bad. A little roughed up. His lips were dry and his hair was messed, but Souji still smiled and said, "Hey."

"Don't 'hey' me, you idiot," Yosuke said. He was halfway into the hug when he decided that it could wait for later, a time when they weren't in front of everyone and a Shadow. "We're taking you out of here."

"Leaving so soon?" said the Shadow.

"Like hell we're waiting for you to mess everything up," Yosuke said. He put his arm around Souji's, and pushed off the ground. Kanji had evidently decided to wait until later to punch Souji in the face, because he took Souji's other arm and lifted him away from the throne and back onto 'their' side by the door. Yosuke was ready to tell them all to pull out, but Souji's fingers curled around Yosuke's jacket.

"Wait," he said. "Let him say his thing."

"I don't think that's a good idea, senpai," Rise said. "The Shadow is getting stronger. We should leave while we still can."

"He won't let us go," Souji said. "And we don't know what will happen if I leave without facing him. So… I'll face him."

But wasn't that playing right into the Shadow's hand? Or was there some secret plan to do some fancy psychological—something. Souji could do it—at least, Yosuke thought he could do it. He held Souji a little tighter to him, and felt comfort in the warmth and hardness of the line of Souji's body.

"You sure about this, partner?" Yosuke said. It felt a little bold saying that they had all spent the last few hours having their brains scrambled by Souji's Shadow, but now he knew for sure that this was _his_ Souji, strong and smart and good.

"I'm sure," Souji said. Yosuke nearly jumped out of his skin when Souji rubbed his spine, a careful, but firm, circle. "Let me stand by myself," he said, his mouth so close that Yosuke could feel the hairs on his neck shifting aside to make room for Souji's breath. Yosuke and Kanji let him up. Souji nodded to himself once, twice, and then faced the Shadow.

"Won their favor back that quickly, huh!" The Shadow didn't seem bothered by Souji's little show of strength. Damn it. Of course it didn't. The Shadow fingered the lapels of his coat, smirking downwards all the while. Then he looked up at them and said, "Aren't you a bit ashamed of yourselves, hating me behind my back and then changing your minds once you look at my face?"

"Don't talk to them," Souji said. "Talk to me."

"Oh, no," said the Shadow. "I want answers, too. I want answers from these _friends_ of mine who like to hang out with each other more than they like to hang out with _me_. They don't like you. They don't like _me_, either." The Shadow brushed some dust off his coat. "Well, they would have liked me if I had the chance," he said. "They'd like me even if they don't want to."

Yosuke's mouth was open to reply, but he couldn't say anything. Souji was standing just in front of him, proud and—but god, Souji, it wasn't like that. If anything, it was _them_ who felt abandoned by him.

"I… have a tendency to ignore them," Souji said. "It's all—"

"'Right'?" The Shadow chuckled. "You're so cute when you try to be strong." Then he became serious. "That's the way you like it—or pretend to like it. You don't trust yourself around intimacy. Sure, you want it, but you're afraid of—"

"Being hurt," Souji said.

"No," said the Shadow. "But wouldn't _that_ be a convenient narrative! No, you're afraid of _losing control_. Just like you lost control of that poor little boy—"

"Shut up!" Yosuke shouted, but his words barely seemed to reach the Shadow.

"It—it's getting stronger," Rise said. "Souji-senpai…!"

"I know that it's important to let loose every now and then," said Souji. "But I'm not afraid of losing control."

"**You are.**" It wasn't just any old statement or bunch of words. It was said as a proclamation of fact. It went straight into Yosuke's mind and echoed in there. Was it true? It had to be true, right? But—

"No…" Souji shook his head. "That's not true."

"It is," the Shadow said. "Hahaha…"

Yosuke, on impulse, put his hand on Souji's shoulder. Souji threw it off violently, so fast that Yosuke felt his shoulder wrench a little. "Don't touch me," he said, icy cold. And then his face settled back to its normal expression—god, it was so much like the Shadow's for a moment—and he said, "I'm sorry. I can't… I can't concentrate, if you're…"

"Oh," Yosuke said. "Fine, then. Be that way."

"No, don't step back," said the Shadow. "Because I like it when you're near me. Too bad that you don't like boys, right?"

"I—"

"Don't say anything to him," Souji said, but it wasn't clear who he was speaking to. Yosuke pulled back anyway. Not because things were too confusing, but because he didn't want to deal with it if Souji was speaking to him. Damn it, Souji, why did he always have to be so— "It doesn't matter who he likes. He's still my friend."

"What does it really mean to be a friend, anyway?" said the Shadow. "That's not _all_ you want, right?"

What?

"If you're going to make a statement," Souji said, "maybe you shouldn't phrase it as a question."

"If you want to make a demand, how about not using 'maybe'?" The Shadow said. "You _like_ just about all of them, but that Yosuke is _special_—for now, at least. You want to take him, just as long as you don't think about his nice, warm mouth around your dick." The Shadow cupped his hand around his ear and turned his head this way and that. "Hey, what's that I hear?"

_ "You want something real? I'll give you real, you bastard—!"_

"Reminds you a bit of him, doesn't he?" said the Shadow. "Boyfriend number one, that is. Poor Sou-chan. **Poor you.**"

"Don't…" Souji's face was pale. "Don't bring him up…"

Souji had a—Souji liked—oh, god, what the fuck was going on, Yosuke couldn't keep his head on straight, the Shadow seemed to be getting bigger and bigger—

The Shadow shrugged. Then he removed his coat. The suit was part of a school uniform. The crest on the left breast had been hidden by the coat, and the uniform itself fit so well that it was easy enough to guess that it had been tailored to fit. The coat vanished into the floor. The Shadow, carefully, swept his bangs out of his face, and wrapped the scarf a little tighter around his neck. "It's like looking into a mirror, isn't it! Hahaha…" Then the Shadow, more seriously, said, "You lost control of that relationship, didn't you? I warned you what would happen if you pushed too hard. You were going to hurt him. But not as much as he could hurt himself. Hahaha…"

"Don't bring him up like that…"

"Souji, don't let—"

"Yosuke," said Souji. "You—I can't—" His face was so pale that it looked to be about the same color as his shirt. "If you say anything, you'll make it worse."

"Oh, no, don't _gag_ the poor boy," the Shadow said. "Let him bask in the glow. Let him have his little moment of happiness before you go and break it. That's why you stayed away from _her_, isn't it?" He pointed right at Rise. "You liked her, too. But you couldn't let her get too close in case you broke her, too. And Naoto-kun—so close to being someone who could counter you without any effort, but not good enough. But Yosuke—he'd never like you back, anyway, so why not… just let yourself take a little risk?"

Souji made eye contact with Yosuke for just a moment, and then, turning a faint shade of pink, turned away. Yosuke wished he could have shouted something like, "Hey, man, it's cool, I love you!" but _not now_. And not like this. Not when everything was like this.

"The question is," said the Shadow, "is if you fell in love with him, or if you made him fall in love with you, and then said, 'Hey, that'd be pretty interesting, let's try to do this without fucking it up this time?'"

"I didn't…"

"Poor Sou-chan, always getting jerked around, left and right," said the Shadow. "So fragile and soft. But hey, you knew how to control that boyfriend of yours, couldn't you? You could make him cry. Hahaha… but we liked him better when—"

"Don't twist things around," Souji said, but his voice was smaller and kept breaking. "It wasn't like that. You make it sound like we were fighting all the time."

"Awfully one-sided for a fight, huh!" the Shadow said. "Oh, you never liked him much… but that wasn't a problem when you got rid of him, was it?" The Shadow sneered. "Better not fall in love, Souji, you never know how dirty your hands—"

Souji screamed. It wasn't a word or a sentence, but an angry howl of rage that seemed to come from someone else. The Shadow watched with an expression of mild surprise—maybe even boredom. When Souji stopped, too tired to continue, the Shadow smiled unpleasantly and said, "I think that was your 'you're not me' moment."

"No," Souji said, his breathing ragged. "That's not—that's not what it was, you have it wrong, you have ieverything/I wrong, you—"

"Hahaha… Look at it from my perspective, won't you." The Shadow spread his arms. "That was a rejection of me, wasn't it! It doesn't matter if you can use words or not, because _I_ still know what you meant. Because we're the _same_, aren't we? Haven't changed a bit on the inside, even after all that." The Shadow crossed the distance between him and Souji with clear, decisive footsteps. "You know, I thought coming here was going to be _fun_. A nice little vacation while the parents were out. But what do I get? **Nothing.** No friends. No one to fuck. Just people who need me to be something for them. All they do is take—but I get nothing in return. She gives me her fucking ID card without telling me where she's going? That rich slut dumps _me_ and has the gall to pretend that we're still friends? He gave me a mug and _that_ makes me family? And these guys—" The Shadow glared at them, hard enough for it to be like an actual push. Then he grabbed Souji by the collar and gave him a little shake. Souji shoved the Shadow's arms away, but the Shadow did it again, yanking Souji back and forth, and then shoved him onto the ground. "All they want me to do is to make choices that they're too fucking cowardly to make! So you know something? Fuck that. They're not _my_ friends and they're not _my_ family. It isn't _me_ who's not _you_."

"That's not true," Souji said, trying to stand. "You're wrong, you're wrong… I hate you, I hate you—you're not anything, you're nothing—what the hell makes you think that you could ever be… You're the one who has it all wrong. I'm not—I'm nothing like—I'm not you, I'm nothing like you, I'm not me, goddamn it, I'm not you!"

The Shadow burst out into a wild, giddy laugh. "No, no, I told you already. I'm not the one who's not you. **You're **the one who isn't **me.**"Then its face split in two and—something big and dark, without a face or a head, nothing but a large, hungry mouth with teeth, exploded from the shell and grinned over all of them.


End file.
